“We Are Inherently Abusive.”
Conflation of BPD and abusive, toxic behaviours is one of the hardest, most common stigmas to erase. Quite often people with borderline are portrayed as jealous, controlling, often even physically abusive. The fact is these things are not synonymous with BPD. It is not a disorder distinguished by abusive behaviours.
Many studies believe those with BPD are highly empathetic. This could stem from the fact many people with BPD have themselves suffered from some neglect or abuse in their childhood. In fact people with BPD are almost three times as likely to report some form of childhood trauma or neglect than those with other mental health illnesses, let alone 13 times more likely than those with no mental health conditions.
We know what it’s like to suffer and contrary to belief that abused often become abusers, this is not the case. Many who have been abused go on to advocate for abuse victims. We are not monsters or abusers. People with borderline personality disorder are treated as if the label is synonymous with abuse.
But this is just a myth. You cannot push us into a box and say we are abusive because of a label.
We do not have to let others tell us who we are.
We don’t have to listen when people tell us we are born to be abusers, simply because of a label, a diagnosis. Media may sensationalise us. Movies may love to portray us as jealous ‘crazy ex’s’ who will do anything to get our partner back. But we know better than that. We know what we are and what we are not.
We are not inherently abusive. We are empathic. We can feel emotions deeper than most. We know more than anyone what pain is. What abuse is. We know. We are not all the same. We are unique, different, our own people and we do not have to become what we experienced.